When you are a new leader or manager it’s not always easy to tell if your choices are coming from the right place. Experience and time will bring insights, but how can you speed up the learning process and ultimately make better decisions? Learning from others is one way to shorten the learning curve. As a leader, learning the difference in how I have used intuition or ego in my decision making process has provided me a mental roadmap. Following your gut might be easier for some, but could lead to bad results and without examination there is no process to prevent the same results from happening again. Follow your ego and you might be successful in many ways, but you’re likely to find yourself wondering why you’re not as happy and ultimately not as effective as you could be as a leader.
Learning how to determine whether my decisions were guided by intuition or ego has made a huge difference in my approach to decision making. While there are no hard and fast rules to make the distinction, there are tendencies that I have personally found that can serve as a guide.
First let me start by stating, fear is the single biggest obstruction to the ahievement of anything.You must first start with this understanding.
Consider these differences:
1. Ego-based decisions are grounded in fear and self-preservation. If you decide to go into management or leadership primarily for reasons of financial security, that’s ego. If you decide to not engage in a new coaching process out of fear of looking unauthetic, that’s ego.
2. Ego-based decisions typically have emotion connected to them. A choice made from a place of intuition just feels “right” and often comes out of left field. You might be in the middle of a Netflix series and are hit with the realization that you should be spending time with your reps in the field. The resulting battle in your head is your ego fighting back.
3. Ego-based decisions consider external results. Are you leading a sales meeting in order to establish control, or are you leading a sales meeting because you’re fascinated with the idea of inpsiring, teaching, and motivating people? Are you taking an action to gain certain results, or does the action itself provide sufficient satisfaction?
4. Ego-based decisions involve rationalization. Your ego is wonderful at convincing you that its choice is the right one. “I’ll never get that job. Imagine how disappointed I’ll feel when it doesn’t work out. People like me are destined to only be supervisors, but there’s nothing wrong with that. I can still have a decent life.”
* It’s really just a rationalization based on fear – fear of success or fear of failure. ((not convinced there’s a real fear of success? See the Icarus Deception))
* The ego tries to justify itself with facts, figures, and logic. Intuition doesn’t require these tricks to compel you. If you’re using logic to convince yourself of a course of action, you can bet that’s your ego squawking.
5. Intuition doesn’t judge. A thought or decision arising from intuition doesn’t involve judgment statements about right or wrong, good or bad. Intuitive thoughts feel calm, relaxed, and peaceful. There’s a universal truth to an idea that arises from intuition.
6. Is the expected gratification coming from within or is it external. Would you make the same choice if no one would ever know? Would you purchase that BMW if no one ever knew you owned it? Or do you simply love German automobiles and love the idea of owning a precision car? Are you driven by money and admiration or by personal satisfaction in up-lifting others?
A mentor of mine told me a story that I think illustrates this point. He shared with me; there was an armored truck full of money that flipped over making a sharp turn while going too fast. As the truck tipped over all of the money that was loaded in the back blew across the streets. On the sidewalks stood groups of individuals. One group went running to grab up as much money as they could hold. Another group rushed to the truck to provide aid to the drivers, while others stood back and called 911. As he finished the story- he asked; which group would you be in and how long would it have taken you to decide?
While the ego can be very limiting, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s wrong. Remember that the ego’s motivation is largely based on self-preservation. Your ego believes that it has your best interests at heart. Ignoring the ego can be challenging. It uses fear to influence you. It’s only natural to avoid fear and seek comfort.
The trick is to realize when fear is holding you back from something bigger and better. As a leader not only is that fear holding you back, but it is also indirectly holding back those that you lead. Think before choosing which voice to follow: use these tips to help you make a decision that will bring you more joy, bring better results, and make an impact on those you lead.
Catalyst Consulting 