When faced with a failure or setback, there are six common stories that people tend to tell themselves and others. By recognizing these patterns, you can use them as a way of thinking differently about what went wrong and how to move forward.
The first story is Relief, which involves acknowledging personal responsibility and learning from the experience. While this approach shows humility and an open mind, it’s important to consider whether you’ve learned the right lessons.
The second story is Hubris, which involves recognizing that the failure was a result of collective overconfidence. By focusing on team failings, this approach can help avoid placing too much blame on any one person. However, it may also lead to less emphasis on personal responsibility.
The third story is Betrayal, which involves blaming someone close for the failure. While this approach can help identify skills gaps in the team, it can also become very personal and accusatory.
The fourth story is Mechanistic, which involves attributing the failure to an impersonal or organizational cause, such as a flawed system or process. By focusing on complex causes, this approach can help identify areas for improvement in the organization. However, it may also minimize personal failings and the importance of individual responsibility.
The fifth story is Cultural Alignment, which involves attributing the failure to the prevailing attitudes and beliefs of the organizational culture. By putting the failure into a wider context, this approach can help identify external influences that may have contributed to the situation. However, it’s important to remember that other people’s actions are not an excuse for one’s own failures.
The sixth story is Nemesis, which involves attributing the failure to someone deliberately trying to bring you down. By identifying bad relationships, this approach can help recognize negative influences and avoid future conflicts. However, assuming bad intentions can also lead to a lack of trust and collaboration in the future.
By recognizing these six common stories and their pros and cons, you can approach failure in a more nuanced and productive way. This can help you learn from your mistakes, take responsibility for your actions, and make positive changes for the future.
Here are some reflection questions for each of the six stories that can help you identify when a particular story is being used:
Relief:
- Am I taking personal responsibility for the failure?
- Am I acknowledging what I’ve learned from the experience?
Hubris:
- Am I focusing on team failings rather than individual responsibility?
- Am I blaming external factors instead of looking at what we could have done differently?
Betrayal:
- Am I blaming someone close for the failure?
- Am I getting too personal and accusatory in my language?
Mechanistic:
- Am I attributing the failure to an impersonal or organizational cause?
- Am I minimizing personal responsibility and individual actions?
Cultural Alignment:
- Am I attributing the failure to external cultural or team factors?
- Am I using other people’s actions as an excuse for my own failures?
Nemesis:
- Am I assuming bad intentions on someone else’s part?
- Am I identifying bad relationships and avoiding future conflicts?
Catalyst Consulting 