Tag: Mindset

Reframing Failure: Six Stories We Tell Ourselves & How You Can Learn and Grow

When faced with a failure or setback, there are six common stories that people tend to tell themselves and others. By recognizing these patterns, you can use them as a way of thinking differently about what went wrong and how to move forward.

The first story is Relief, which involves acknowledging personal responsibility and learning from the experience. While this approach shows humility and an open mind, it’s important to consider whether you’ve learned the right lessons.

The second story is Hubris, which involves recognizing that the failure was a result of collective overconfidence. By focusing on team failings, this approach can help avoid placing too much blame on any one person. However, it may also lead to less emphasis on personal responsibility.

The third story is Betrayal, which involves blaming someone close for the failure. While this approach can help identify skills gaps in the team, it can also become very personal and accusatory.

The fourth story is Mechanistic, which involves attributing the failure to an impersonal or organizational cause, such as a flawed system or process. By focusing on complex causes, this approach can help identify areas for improvement in the organization. However, it may also minimize personal failings and the importance of individual responsibility.

The fifth story is Cultural Alignment, which involves attributing the failure to the prevailing attitudes and beliefs of the organizational culture. By putting the failure into a wider context, this approach can help identify external influences that may have contributed to the situation. However, it’s important to remember that other people’s actions are not an excuse for one’s own failures.

The sixth story is Nemesis, which involves attributing the failure to someone deliberately trying to bring you down. By identifying bad relationships, this approach can help recognize negative influences and avoid future conflicts. However, assuming bad intentions can also lead to a lack of trust and collaboration in the future.

By recognizing these six common stories and their pros and cons, you can approach failure in a more nuanced and productive way. This can help you learn from your mistakes, take responsibility for your actions, and make positive changes for the future.

Here are some reflection questions for each of the six stories that can help you identify when a particular story is being used:

Relief:

  • Am I taking personal responsibility for the failure?
  • Am I acknowledging what I’ve learned from the experience?

Hubris:

  • Am I focusing on team failings rather than individual responsibility?
  • Am I blaming external factors instead of looking at what we could have done differently?

Betrayal:

  • Am I blaming someone close for the failure?
  • Am I getting too personal and accusatory in my language?

Mechanistic:

  • Am I attributing the failure to an impersonal or organizational cause?
  • Am I minimizing personal responsibility and individual actions?

Cultural Alignment:

  • Am I attributing the failure to external cultural or team factors?
  • Am I using other people’s actions as an excuse for my own failures?

Nemesis:

  • Am I assuming bad intentions on someone else’s part?
  • Am I identifying bad relationships and avoiding future conflicts?

The Mind As An Asset

When we face a challenge that seems bigger than ourselves, we can find courage, strength and resilience at will. We discover powers that we never thought we had, but the secret is all inside our mind: true power lies in accepting the challenge and saying to yourself “No matter what happens, I’m going to make it. I can already see the finish line. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain”.

The above was a passage from Psycho-Cybernetics. A weighty read, but an important one that dives into the capacity we have, should we choose, to leverage the power of the mind.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the author, Maxwell Maltz (1889–1975) was an American cosmetic surgeon and author. By combining his daily work experiences as a surgeon with profound studies of the human psychology, Maltz came to the conclusion that our self-image is the cornerstone of our mental state, and therefore of all the successes and failures that happen in our lives as a result.

His best-seller Psycho Cybernetic, published in 1960, is considered one of the best books in the self-help category, of the psychology masterpieces that paved the way for most of today’s personal empowerment programs.

Top 10 Components of a Success Mindset in Sales

Success starts with mindset. Different mindsets give different outcomes. A poor mindset leads to poor results. A positive mindset leads to success. While your experience, education, and skills can matter a lot, your mindset can make all the difference. In no other profession is this this more evident than in the profession of selling. Can you have a poor mindset as an accountant and the books still balance, yes.

Luckily, anyone can develop a mindset primed for sales success . It’s certainly easier and less time consuming than mastering a complex skill!

Create a mindset that creates success! Include these components in your mindset:

1. Gratitude. Be grateful of what you have and have already accomplished. Be happy for the success of others. If you can’t feel happy for others when they are successful, your own success will be limited. I have seen both ends of the spectrum in sales where individuals felt that the company or the world owed them something and took for granted the resources they had available, and thus they never built any momentum to experience joy and success. Others who became successful through their results, and developed an attitude of superiority. They too felt the world owed them something due to their performance and thus began taking things for granted. Whatever spectrum one may find themselves on, an attitude of gratitude is a must for a sustained experience of joy and happiness.

2. Evaluation of risk and reward. Successful salespeople are masters at evaluating risk and reward. Unsuccessful salespeople, or salespeople that have plateaued, either refuse to take any risks or take on far too much risk for the potential reward. Neither is a successful way to approach life. While balance is key, risk avoidance is a sure path to a deteriorating career in sales.

3. Focus on emotional and physical health. Sacrificing your health for success isn’t true success. What do you really gain if you achieve your goals but sacrifice your physical or emotional health in the process? I have witnessed many people join the sales profession in the last twenty years that did so because their “chosen” profession didn’t work out. Selling can be an emotional roller-coaster in the beginning. A weak foundation in your emotional and physical well-being only makes it more difficult on you.

4. Abundance. Believe that there is enough to go around. A scarcity mindset can lead to ethical issues. One of the most fun aspects of sales is the competition, but only when it’s fun and productive. Ultimately you will want to build your skills and competency where you’ll only be competing with yourself. Reaching that point in your sales career opens up unlimited possibilities. Along the way you’ll maintain a more positive attitude when you believe your dreams are possible. What do you believe is possible for you to achieve?

5. Keeping mistakes and failure in the proper context. Failure is guaranteed to happen more often than not. Learn from your mistakes and failures and try again. When mistakes are internalized as failure that action can become a limiting belief. All initial failures are learning opportunities. Repeated failures are choices.

6. Growth. Placing a priority on growth is a necessary part of success. Carol Dweck, the author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, has done some pioneering work in the field of motivation. Dweck, in her book, outlines the implications of what she terms a “fixed mindset” versus one of a “growth mindset”. I highly recommend her TedTalk for a quick primer on her work. You can find the link here. You can’t achieve anything new without growing in some way. It might be your skills, attitude, discipline, or courage that need to grow. Rest assured, something needs to grow if you’re currently stuck.

7. A willingness to be uncomfortable. Growth isn’t pleasant. There will be discomfort as you develop yourself, fail, and make mistakes. As you take risks, deploy new tactics, engage in new habits, and strive to reach things previously unknown to you- you will undoubtedly become uncomfortable along the way. Even success can be uncomfortable. How uncomfortable are you willing to be to become successful in sales?

  • The willingness to be uncomfortable is the limiting success factor for most salespeople.

8. A positive attitude. How much are you willing to do if you’re certain you’ll be successful? A lot. How much are you willing to do if you don’t have high expectations? A lot less. Give yourself and your abilities the benefit of the doubt. As you approach areas of your career that are unknown the discomfort and/or failures can easily turn into fear. Remember this acronym for fear as it might serve you well.

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

Notice how you think and how you talk to yourself. Is it positive or negative? What impact do you think that has on you? Most of the fears that develop are due to a negative anticipation of a specific event. It’s rarely a result of what is actually happening in the moment.

9. Planning. Success for each salesperson is a precise goal. I’ve seen salespeople spend more time planning their NFL Fantasy Lineup than they do on their professional goals. You’re not going to what you want on accident. If you do, it wasn’t really a goal to begin with. Without a destination in mind and a plan for getting there, you’re relying too much on luck to reasonably expect success.

10. A great mentor. A mentor that has achieved the success you desire knows where your head needs to be. There is a lack of good mentors in the workforce today. It’s unfortunate and an avenue that many companies need to be more intentional about. So, when you spot someone who’s willing to spend time with you, don’t take it for granted. They don’t come around very often. In a mentor, he/she knows what’s important and what’s just noise. Your mindset will be more accurate and effective if guided by a qualified mentor.

Think about your current mindset and compare that to the results you’re currently experiencing in your life. Can you see the connection?

If you feel that you have the skills you need to be successful in selling, but still come up short, it might be time to take a look at your mindset. Anyone can choose their mindset. There are no prerequisites for having a great mindset. You can just choose. Put your mind into a positive state that aids in your success and those around you.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What do I think about during the day? Are those thoughts likely to lead to actions that will bring success?
  2. What was the primary cause of my last failure? What can I learn from it?
  3. What steps do I need to take today to reach my goals?
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A Calm Mind Makes Trying Times Conquerable

Difficulties give me an opportunity to exercise my focus and determination. During trying times I concentrate on maintaining a calm mind. This approach helps me to conquer the challenges that face me.

I avoid being reactive to difficult situations that catch me off guard. While it is easy to allow confrontation to anger me, I choose to take the higher road.

I spend a lot of time on nurturing my mind and spirit. I train myself to keep calm when that is the least natural approach. It forces me to develop the will to overcome the toughest situations.

When I encounter resistance, my first step is to silence the inner voice in my head that is reactive. I ignore the stirrings of impatience and anger that pull at me. I block them out completely.

I realize that giving in to negativity only serves to worsen any situation. My focus is on overcoming the challenge at hand by counteracting negativity with positivity and peace.

My wisdom in handling trying times encourages me to act from a place of calm reasoning. When my mind is calm, I am able to think things through. By rejecting unease at my core, I am able to make smart choices that produce better results.

Today, I am a conqueror. I can overcome any obstacle.

With serenity, I can see the value in all challenges that are presented to me. Even obstacles become worthwhile and meaningful when seen in this light.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What exercises can I undertake to help me develop a consistently calm mind?
  2. How often do I encounter situations that are difficult for me to control?
  3. What assistance can I get from outside sources when dealing with trying times?

16 Empowering Beliefs to Live By

Your experiences are shaped by your thinking. Even obstacles have a value when you can see it. You can develop convictions that will help you to feel happier and achieve more, regardless of the situation.

Consider these empowering beliefs that you can start using today to transform your experiences through the power of positive thinking.

Empowering Beliefs to Make You Smile

  1. I understand my potential. You can achieve amazing results when you put your mind to it. Feel excited about reaching your true potential.

  2. Practice gratitude daily. List each thing that you have to be grateful for. Remember to include the smaller items, like warm socks or basic food on your table. Expressing your appreciation reminds you of how rich you are and leads to taking less for granted.

  3. I learn from mistakes. You can make setbacks work for you by focusing on the lessons that they contain. Flubbing one customer presentation can teach you how to ace the next one.

  4. I find meaning in adversity. Tough times can be the most rewarding phase of your life. Know that you can emerge from any challenge with greater wisdom and courage. Look back at the obstacles you’ve already overcome, and reassure yourself that you can handle what’s ahead.

  5. I embrace change. Accept that life is a series of changes. Focus on the present moment, and prepare yourself to adapt to whatever circumstances come your way.

  6. I dream big. Expand your wish list. Setting demanding but attainable goals gives you adventures to look forward to each day.

  7. I practice forgiveness. Lighten your load by clearing away any resentment you’re holding onto from the past. Set reasonable boundaries while you respond with compassion when others disappoint you. Pardon yourself too.

  8. I give generously. Sharing your blessings makes you more powerful and joyful. Volunteer in your community and do one act of kindness for a person you meet today. Buy coffee for your co-workers or bring your spouse a small gift home after work. .

Empowering Beliefs to Make You Strive

  1. I take responsibility. You are in charge of your life. Hold yourself accountable for the outcomes you create. Celebrate the fact that you have the power to determine your own future.

  2. I apply effort. Figure out your definition of success so you know what is worth working for. Give yourself credit when you’re making progress rather than comparing yourself to others.

  3. I leverage my strengths. You have your own individual strengths that you can draw on. Figure out what you’re good at and what you want to do. Let that knowledge guide your choices.

  4. I listen to feedback. Ask for feedback so you can enhance your performance and show others that you respect their point of view. You grow faster when you gather solid input that you can translate into action.

  5. I ask for help. Expand your capabilities by building a sturdy support network. Carpool with other parents. Divide up household chores with your spouse and children.

  6. I connect with others. Moral support counts too. Surround yourself with encouraging people and friends. Participate actively in your faith community. Join a club with members who share your interest in a particular hobby.

  7. I recognize opportunities. Stay alert for promising openings. You may meet a new friend while you’re standing in line to buy your morning coffee.

  8. I try new things. Be open to experimentation. Go kayaking one weekend instead of playing golf. Tackle that BBQ Brisket that you’ve been wanting to perfect or pick up a musical instrument. You may discover hidden talents.

An upbeat attitude increases your happiness and productivity. Question your old assumptions so you can replace them with a new sense of certainty about yourself and your future. Adopt empowering beliefs that build up your confidence and prepare you for greater success. Start today. You’ll be glad you did!